You swipe right. It’s a match. They are attractive, charming, and seem incredibly interested in getting to know you. The conversation flows effortlessly, and for a moment, it feels like you’ve struck gold in the chaotic minefield of online dating. But then, a small request pops up—maybe it’s a plea for gas money to come see you, or a weird link they want you to click. Suddenly, that excitement turns into suspicion.
Online dating and hookup apps have revolutionized how we meet people, making it easier than ever to find connection. However, these platforms also act as hunting grounds for scammers looking to exploit loneliness, lust, or simple kindness. In 2022 alone, the Federal Trade Commission reported that nearly 70,000 people reported a romance scam, with reported losses hitting a staggering $1.3 billion.
While these numbers are alarming, they shouldn’t scare you off the apps entirely. Most users are genuine people looking for the same things you are. The key to staying safe is learning to recognize the subtle—and sometimes not-so-subtle—signs that the person on the other end of the screen isn’t who they say they are. By sharpening your instincts, you can protect your heart and your wallet.
The Anatomy of a Scammer Profile
Before a conversation even begins, you can often spot a potential scammer just by looking at their profile. Scammers rely on visual bait to lure victims in, and they often follow predictable patterns.
The “Too Good to be True” Photos
If a profile looks like it belongs in a fashion magazine, pause. Scammers frequently steal photos from influencers, models, or unsuspecting social media users. Be wary of profiles that:
- Only feature professional, high-resolution modeling shots.
- Lack candid photos with friends, family, or in everyday settings.
- Have only one photo.
Pro Tip: If you are suspicious, screenshot the photo and run it through a reverse image search tool like Google Images or TinEye. If that person appears under a different name on a stock photo site or a random Instagram account, you are dealing with a fake profile.
The Vague or Generic Bio
Scammers are often operating multiple accounts simultaneously, so they use copy-paste bios that appeal to everyone but say nothing. Watch out for bios that rely heavily on clichéd quotes about “honesty” and “trust” without offering any specific details about their hobbies, job, or local area.
Behavioral Red Flags: The Conversation
Once you match, the scammer’s goal is to gain your trust quickly. Their communication style is usually designed to manipulate your emotions or lower your defenses.
Moving Off-App Immediately
One of the biggest red flags is a match who immediately wants to switch to WhatsApp, Google Chat, or text message. They might say, “I’m rarely on here,” or “I hate this app’s interface.”
Scammers do this for two reasons. First, dating apps have security algorithms that monitor for keywords associated with scams. Second, once they are banned from the app (which happens often), they lose contact with you. Moving you to an encrypted messaging app secures their line of communication to you.
Love Bombing
“Love bombing” is a manipulation tactic where someone overwhelms you with affection, compliments, and promises of a future together very early on. If someone is telling you they are falling for you within 48 hours, or calling you “hubby/wifey” before you’ve even met for coffee, be on high alert. This accelerated intimacy is designed to make you feel guilty when you eventually hesitate to fulfill their requests.
The “Traveler” Excuse
Many scammers claim to be working overseas, in the military, or on an oil rig. This provides a built-in excuse for why they can’t meet in person and why their timezone might be odd. While people in these professions certainly use dating apps, it is a statistically common cover story for international fraud rings.
Common Scams You Might Encounter
Knowing the specific script a scammer uses can stop you from becoming a victim. Here are three of the most prevalent schemes on hookup platforms today.
1. The Verification Code Scam
This is a technical scam rather than an emotional one. A match might say they want to ensure you are real and safe to meet. They will claim they are sending a “verification code” to your phone and ask you to read it back to them.
The Reality: They are trying to log into one of your accounts—likely your dating profile, email, or social media. The code you received is actually a two-factor authentication (2FA) code. If you give it to them, they take over your account and use it to scam others. Never share a code sent to your phone with anyone.
2. The “Emergency” Money Grab
This is the classic romance scam. After building a rapport for a few days or weeks, a crisis occurs. Their car broke down, a family member is in the hospital, or they are stuck at an airport without access to their bank account.
They will ask for a “loan” to get through the emergency, promising to pay you back as soon as you meet. They usually request payment via untraceable methods like gift cards, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency. Once you send the money, the emergencies will continue, or they will vanish.
3. Sextortion
This is a particularly malicious scam prevalent on hookup apps. The match will aggressively push to exchange intimate photos or video chat intimately. Once you send a compromising photo or perform a sexual act on camera, the tone shifts instantly.
They will reveal they have recorded the interaction or saved the photos. They then threaten to send the content to your family, employer, or Facebook friends list unless you pay them.
Prevention: Never send intimate content to someone you haven’t met and trust deeply. If you are targeted by sextortion, cease contact immediately and report it to the authorities; paying rarely stops the demands.
How to Protect Yourself
You don’t need to delete your apps to stay safe. You just need to adopt a “zero-trust” policy until verified. Here is your safety checklist for modern dating.
Video Chat Before You Meet
If a match refuses to hop on a FaceTime, Zoom, or in-app video call, do not meet them. Scammers cannot video chat because they don’t look like their photos. If their “camera is broken” or the “connection is bad” every time you try, unmatch them.
Keep It Local
Stick to matching with people in your general geographic area. It is much easier to verify if someone is real if they can meet for a drink at a local bar within a few days of matching. Long-distance digital relationships are the primary breeding ground for scams.
Guard Your Wallet
There is never a legitimate reason for someone you just met on a dating app to ask you for financial help. No matter how heartbreaking the story is, or how small the amount seems, the answer must always be no. The moment money is mentioned, the relationship is a transaction, not a romance.
Trust Your Gut
Your intuition is your best defense mechanism. If a conversation feels scripted, if the person seems too perfect, or if you feel pressured, listen to that feeling. It is better to unmatch a potentially real person than to be defrauded by a criminal.
Staying Smart in the Dating Game
Hookup platforms and dating apps are excellent tools for meeting people outside your social circle. They can lead to fun nights out, meaningful relationships, and everything in between. However, these platforms require the same level of street smarts you would use in the real world. You wouldn’t hand your wallet to a stranger at a bar just because they complimented you, and you shouldn’t do it online either.
By recognizing the signs of catfishing, refusing to move off-app too quickly, and keeping your wallet firmly closed, you can navigate the digital dating scene with confidence. Stay skeptical, stay safe, and save your energy for the matches who actually show up.
